Corrie- Monologue

The monologue I wrote of Corrie MacKenzie from the book Tomorrow, When the War Began. 

No Future

Limbo. Not alive, but not dead… well yet. Ellie remember when we used to try telepathy as kids? Well I hope it works this time. This hospital bed feels uncomfortable, I’m still in my bloody clothes and Ellie I feel so alone, the nurses talk to me, but I can’t respond because I am no longer connected to my body. I still don’t understand why that bullet had to penetrate my stomach though. But here’s how it happened you need to know my story so you can understand my choices.  

Well to be honest Ellie, I don’t even know how it happened. One moment Kevin and I we thought we were safe… safe. Actually that’s probably where we went wrong, anyway the next thing I know, I’m on the ground, my blood was pouring from a bullet wound that hurt like hell! I was so scared. Kevin calmed me a bit. He was pretty amazing, carried me to safety. I really did think everything was going to be ok… But then I saw you. Pale skin, bones showing, sunken face, if that’s what you looked like I must have looked like hell! Not only were we fighting a war, now my body was. I guess it was too much, so I let go. I know I didn’t die then and there, but I let go of the hope, the hope of having a future, seeing the world, becoming a nurse.

I always wanted to become a nurse and you were continuously telling me I was generous and kind enough. And brave, you always told me I was brave. Maybe that’s why I’m in this mess Ellie maybe I was too brave, can you even be too brave? If so when does it become too much or too little? Is there an amount that would have stopped me from getting shot? Ellie I don’t know. I just don’t know. Maybe… why am I even thinking about this? I should be thinking about the good stuff, like before the war, my friends and my family. I wish I could see them once more I want Mum to hug me and say, ‘Whatever you decide will be right.’ I want Dad to pat me on the back and say, ‘Good job kiddo,’ like he used to in the old days when we were just innocent kids. Before this stupid war! Before my house was destroyed, before my family and friends were taken from me, before when I was an innocent kid and I had a future!

Ok, Corrie calm down. Think of the positives like Robyn would… Positives…I guess I learnt not to take things for granted. Before the war, it was the simple household things that you just expected to have like a bed or TV. But, watching my house be destroyed made me think that not everything will be the same possessions and even life can be destroyed in seconds. I think I learnt not to be selfish as well. We were surviving on so little and didn’t have many supplies; we couldn’t afford to take anything more than we needed. I also became closer to my friends. Every moment in Hell brought us closer together, we understood what each other was going through and somehow managed to help each other through it. When my house blew up you guys really helped me to move on. I love all of you. You’ve made me who I am today and without my friends I would not have been able to survive to this point in time.

Ellie, I have no future left all I have is my thoughts and this hospital bed… but for how long? How long until I go six feet underground. I’m sure you already know this but Ellie, wars they change people. They can turn people into monsters; they can change the entire personality of someone, their thoughts or opinions. They can make someone feel emotions and pain that no one would think possible. Wirrawee will never be safe again. I can’t even comprehend the fact that our safe little country town where I was born and bred was invaded. This war has changed me maybe for the worse, either way I’ve finished fighting. They’ve beaten me. Ellie… I’ve made my choice and I’m about to be one of those statistics recorded as a casualty of war.